พระอาจารย์อธิบายว่ายินดียินร้ายเป็นกับดักที่อกุศลใช้ชักจูงใจ ต่างจากมุทิตาซึ่งมีกุศลอยู่เบื้องหลัง พร้อมสอนหลักอุเบกขาธรรมเพื่อวางใจเป็นกลางแม้ในยามได้รับผลบุญThe teacher explains why liking and disliking are a trap the unwholesome uses to manipulate us, unlike sympathetic joy (mudita) which has wholesomeness behind it, and teaches the principle of equanimity for staying neutral even when reaping the fruits of merit.
A lay follower asked: the teacher has taught before about liking and disliking, saying we should keep the mind neutral toward whatever arises. But what about sympathetic joy — rejoicing when someone else does well or succeeds? Is that the same kind of "liking," or something different?
Why the Buddha Taught Against Liking and Disliking
The teacher explained that we first need to understand why the Fully Enlightened Buddha taught against liking and disliking — against being pleased or displeased. It's because the systems of wholesome and neutral-karma know exactly what we like and dislike, and use that very thing as bait to draw us in. Whatever pleases us, we want to feel pleased about even more; whatever displeases us, we want to feel displeased about even more. When we don't see through this, we go along with being pleased or displeased, and become imprisoned within that dimension, lured into believing, as if it were our own idea, that we want this or want that. It's easy to notice: every time we feel pleased, it tends to slide into greed, wanting more and more. If something pleases us physically, desire arises; if something pleases us materially, greed and sfaction stir up more wanting, hoarding more and more — and when someone asks us for some, we don't want to give, afraid we'll have less. Displeasure works the same way: without a neutral mind, even a small friction leaves us upset and dissatisfied, and we get led into holding onto anger, harboring resentment again and again until vengeance takes root. Both mounting greed and mounting anger lead toward harming others — starting as a feeling within the heart, then, given the chance, escalating into harm through speech and action. Behind all of this, without exception, is doing the directing.
Sympathetic Joy: Gladness With Wholesomeness Behind It
But when we see someone else do a genuinely good deed and we feel glad for them, the mind at that moment is wholesome. The image of their goodness doesn't entangle or infatuate us — it simply makes an impression, brings us joy alongside them, as though we ourselves had done that good deed, because the image of that goodness has arisen within our own heart. It's like seeing an inspiring image shared on social media — when we feel moved by something good, wholesomeness is behind our being able to see and know it. The moment that image of goodness appears in the mind, the drawing-in of pure energy begins. The good feeling of witnessing that goodness is like giving it a "like" from genuine appreciation — and this itself functions as an act of giving, generating merit. Afterward we feel fulfilled by that image of goodness, and every time we recall it, a stream of merit arises again, even though we were never the one who performed the deed. This completed pattern gets sealed within , to be placed onto the timeline of our life, near or far in the future, in a way that corresponds with what the doer of that good deed is bringing about. For instance, if by the power of that merit they become the head of a company, we who rejoiced alongside them might in turn become a board member or a shareholder in that same company — connected through the fruits of that goodness. It all depends on who stands behind the goodness, or the wrongdoing, and to what degree.
The questioner summarized their understanding: sympathetic joy is like rejoicing in what someone else has already done well — feeling glad alongside them — but if we ourselves are the one facing such a situation directly, we should keep the mind neutral in order to protect it.
How to Stay Neutral — Even While Reaping the Fruits of Merit
The teacher added further: we know a beautiful or handsome person is beautiful or handsome; we know delicious food is delicious; we know a pleasant or unpleasant smell for what it is. But keep the mind neutral — simply know it as it is. Knowing that something is beautiful is just knowing; knowing something is delicious is just knowing — without letting the mind scatter into infatuation or intoxication with it. If we indulge in such things without keeping the mind neutral, system cannot establish itself; the mind scatters, and the unwholesome misdirects it. Even while reaping the fruits of merit — good fortune, success, and the like — we must experience that fruit with a neutral mind, never letting the unwholesome possess the mind and drag it into scattered infatuation. Some people, upon receiving the fruits of good fortune, end up using it as grounds for wrongdoing, precisely because the mind wasn't established in neutrality. When we can keep the mind neutral, the wholesome system steps in to guide us, showing what is right and what is wrong, as if it were our own realization, so that we remain under the care of the wholesome system. What matters most is abiding within the wholesome system, which has knowing and powerful guardians ready to advise and teach us, giving us the chance to recognize mistakes before they turn into crises. Keeping the mind neutral — neither pleased nor displeased — is what it means to abide in equanimity (upekkha). This is, in truth, the called tatramajjhattata — a wholesome mental factor that keeps watch over us, keeping us within the correct wholesome system, keeping the mind from scattering, and allowing us to build true mastery over ourselves.