พระอาจารย์อธิบายมงคลชีวิตข้อที่ 23 ความถ่อมตนว่าเป็นการปรารภตนเอง ต่างจากความเคารพที่ปรารภผู้อื่น และเป็นกุญแจสำคัญที่เปิดให้ระบบกุศลธรรมตั้งขึ้นในใจ พร้อมแนะวิธีแก้ความถือดีด้วยการคบกัลยาณมิตรและโยนิโสมนสิการHe explains the 23rd blessing of life, humility — a matter of examining oneself, unlike respect, which concerns others — and shows how it is the key that opens the way for the wholesome system to establish itself in the heart, offering good company and wise reflection as the remedy for pride.
A student asked the teacher to expand on the 23rd blessing of life: humility.
What humility is, and how it differs from respect
He explained that just as the ocean, where waters from every direction flow together, must sit lower than all the streams feeding into it, so too must anyone who wishes to receive the good qualities of others hold themselves with humility. The Pali word for humility, nivāto, means "not puffed up with air" — setting aside conceit and pride, being modest, without arrogance or boastfulness.
Respect and humility differ. Respect concerns others — recognizing the goodness in someone else. Humility concerns oneself — continually examining one's own shortcomings. A person can have respect without humility: they might recognize goodness in someone else, yet still be unable to lower themselves before that person, always comparing themselves instead.
What breeds pride, and the marks of a humble person
Six things commonly breed pride in people: pride in family lineage, pride in wealth, pride in appearance, pride in and ability, pride in higher rank or position, and pride in having more followers than others. The cost of stubborn pride is losing oneself, losing friends, and losing community. The remedy is to keep good company and to practice wise reflection.
A humble person shows three marks: first, gentle conduct — neither lowering oneself excessively nor holding oneself too high; second, sweet speech — pleasant words arising from a clean, soft heart; third, a gentle heart — soft and yielding, yet not weak; strong, yet not rigid.
Humility is the key that opens the way for the wholesome system to establish in the heart
This blessing matters greatly. Notice that whenever reciting any formula, people of old always began with words of homage to the Triple Gem: "Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammāsambuddhassa." When taking , gentle, humble words toward the Triple Gem are always spoken first. The sphere of carrying that quality of gentle humility can only establish itself in the heart. Once established, its quality appears as light at the center, clearing away the im of pride and rigidity, softening the heart, and making it ready to receive system. If the heart remains rigid, clinging to self-importance, full of conceit, the wholesome system cannot take hold at all — only humility opens the way for it. Once established, it guides us, almost like our own thought, to conduct ourselves appropriately. The stream of goodness released from a gentle, humble heart touches the hearts of others, making them feel accepted by our humility, and their own wholesome mind arises in response.
The opposite is also true: if we hold onto our own importance, remain rigid, refuse to yield, that refusal creates conflict. Our own unwholesome state draws out state in the other person, and each side keeps drawing in demerit, old and new, continuously. Even a small act of pride can create problems for both ourselves and others, because the unwholesomeness that arises doesn't want things to go smoothly — it begins with the smallest things, drawing the unwholesome system into the hearts of whoever we're interacting with.
The remedy for pride: keeping good company and wise reflection
He advised that the cure for stubborn pride is to keep good company, because a is someone who constantly abides within the wholesome system — their conduct is naturally gentle, humble, soft, and endearing, easy to be near, because they are a dwelling place for the wholesome system, for the inner Triple Gem, for Nibbana itself. Staying close to such a person gives us a good example to follow.
Another remedy is wise reflection — making the mind skillful, so that it becomes fertile ground for the wholesome system to settle in as the house-owner, leaving no room for the unwholesome or the neutral to take hold. This is done by continuously holding a wholesome abiding quality in the mind — cultivating at all times, or recalling our purpose in being born: to realize Nibbana clearly within; or reflecting on death; or staying aware of our true self — the Buddha-image already present within us. Doing this ensures that life will flourish, with no chance of decline.
If we abide within this 23rd blessing — humility — our body, speech, and mind remain under the care of the wholesome system, continuously drawing in pure energy. We abide within the Triple Gem and Nibbana, which overlay us to help resolve problems and pave the way ahead, bringing , success, and the fulfillment of every good wish, both now and in the future.