คำสอน · พระอาจารย์สุรพงค์Teaching · Pra Ajarn Suraphong
จะอยู่ร่วมกับคนที่เรารู้สึกไม่โอเคตั้งแต่แรกเจอได้อย่างไร ในเมื่อหลีกเลี่ยงไม่ได้How Do I Coexist With Someone I Felt Uneasy About From the First Meeting, When I Can't Avoid Them?
เมื่อหลีกเลี่ยงคนที่ให้ความรู้สึกไม่ดีไม่ได้ วิธีที่หลวงพ่อเคยใช้คือการนั่งหลับตา ไม่ให้อกุศลชี้นำทั้งสองฝ่าย ส่วนกรณีต้องทำงานร่วมกัน ให้ยืนหยัดในหลักการที่ถูกต้องและมีบุคคลที่สามอยู่ด้วยเสมอWhen someone who gives us a bad first impression can't be avoided, the method the Great Teacher once used was simply closing one's eyes — keeping the unwholesome from guiding either side. When working together is unavoidable, hold firmly to correct principles and always keep a third party present.
Someone asked: when we get a bad first impression of someone, we can usually choose to avoid them — but Pra Ajarn can't always avoid people, since teaching the requires meeting many. What does Pra Ajarn do when facing someone like this?
This isn't unique to Pra Ajarn — even the Great Teacher faced this. The method he used was simply to sit with his eyes closed. Since avoidance isn't possible, the point is to not let either side display any inappropriate behavior. What can be avoided is closing one's eyes for a while; it passes on its own soon enough. If a situation can be avoided, avoid it; if it can't, sit with eyes closed and let handle it for you, rather than letting guide either you or the other person. This is how we stay grounded in the wholesome system in such moments.
When You Must Work Together and Cannot Avoid Someone
If the situation requires working together, coordinating, and there's truly no way to avoid it, you should hold firmly to correct principles as your foundation, and always keep a third party present. Never let it be just the two of you alone — bring along a third, neutral person. When you stand on correct principles, should anything happen, there will be a witness to confirm what's true. If you remain firm in doing what's right, that third person will come to recognize the truth of the matter, and can speak or explain on your behalf if the other person doesn't understand. So there are two key principles: always have a third party present, and always stand on correct principles.
As for when the person you feel uneasy about happens to be your supervisor, that makes things one level harder. If your supervisor still holds prejudice against you, you should start preparing to look for a new job, because that workplace is no longer a safe or suitable ground for you — it's time to find new footing elsewhere.
What Does It Mean That "the Last Life Is Like Yesterday"?
A further question was raised: when Pra Ajarn has said that our past life is like yesterday, does that mean each lifetime connects continuously to the next in that way? Yes, exactly — because the law of karma means that what we did in the past bears its result in the present, and what we do now, in turn, bears its result in the future. Each lifetime is continuously linked to the next in just this way.