Someone asked: what kind of merit do departed relatives generally prefer to receive — merit from offering food to monks, merit from sitting meditation, or merit from any good deed at all?

Every Kind of Merit Benefits, but Merit From Meditation Lasts the Longest The teacher explained that every kind of merit brings genuine benefit. If one is able to cultivate meditation, that is the simplest path of all — one need only abide in wholesome dhamma by determining awareness and keeping it constant, never lapsing, because any merit whatsoever must ultimately rest within the wholesome-dhamma system. Merit born from this kind of sustained awareness can continue for as long as it possibly can, unlike other forms of merit, which are complete within a short span of time.

Giving, for instance, begins the moment we set out with the intention already formed — merit flows through every step we take, driving us toward completion. Once complete, the sphere of merit appears, bright and beautiful, and detaches from the mind. Throughout that process, what carries us is diligence, relying on faith, mindfulness, concentration, wisdom, and effort — the five spiritual faculties — which are then driven to fruition by the five spiritual powers. Cultivating meditation works the same way, relying on faith, renunciation, wisdom, effort, patience, and truthfulness — enduring against the current of impurity, remaining present through the perfection of truthfulness and the perfection of resolve. Many perfections work together this way, continuously drawing merit inward.

Every kind of merit thus carries its own distinct benefit, but the one who performs the deed always receives it first. It is precisely because of our departed relative that we are given the occasion to do good in the first place; the merit that results, we then dedicate to them. Whether they actually receive it depends on whether the realm they currently inhabit is able to receive it. If it cannot, at that moment, the merit simply waits until the right time or occasion arrives.

If We Ask Ourselves, What Merit Would We Want to Receive? The teacher invited reflection: if we ask ourselves what kind of merit we would want our own relatives to make on our behalf after we die, the surface answer is "anything at all." But deep down, we would truly want our descendants to give, keep the precepts, cultivate meditation, and cultivate wisdom — all four together — because that means the spheres of morality, concentration, and wisdom would brighten within our descendants themselves. Every sphere that brightens does so because merit has been drawn into it, and that benefit accrues directly to our own descendants. All four — giving, morality, meditation, and wisdom — should therefore be practiced together.

What Each of the Four Means Giving exists to dispel stinginess, which is like a dark substance that constricts and narrows the mind. Once stinginess is released, the channel for merit widens, allowing the stream of merit and fortune to flow in abundantly and continuously. The aim of giving is to become a bringer of good fortune to others — only then can we ourselves become a center around which good fortune gathers.

Morality, once undertaken, requires that we offer safety to people and all beings — safety of life, of property, of family, of truthful speech, and of the mindfulness that sustains wholesome dhamma. The aim of morality is purity. Once our observance of the precepts reaches the point of true purity, a sphere of purity begins to form, starting no larger than the tip of a needle, then gradually expanding outward until it fills the space around our whole body. At that point, an inner exclamation arises spontaneously: "Once I had to guard the precepts — now the precepts guard me."

Concentration clears away the hindrances, purifying the mind and mental factors further still, freeing us continuously from one dimension into the next. As we are freed, we come to reach inner knowers of ever greater subtlety, who guide us toward the wisdom to see the value of the wholesome and the danger of the unwholesome. Seeing this clearly, the sphere of liberation begins to work, freeing us from impurities such as laziness, fearfulness, irritability, drowsiness, boastfulness, and addiction to gambling or other vices.

Once we see the value of the wholesome with real clarity, a vision and an inspiration arise to transform our life toward something better, more excellent, more wondrous still. The sphere of liberating insight then carries that liberation forward.

All of this arises from the occasion of remembering a departed relative. When we wish to do good and dedicate the resulting merit to them, we ourselves are the first to receive it — the spheres of morality, concentration, wisdom, and liberating insight within us brighten, bringing purity and liberation to our own lives as well.