ไม่ว่าพระภิกษุหรือฆราวาส ความเห็นแก่ตัวเอาแต่ได้เกิดจากอกุศลเข้าสิงในรูปของโลภะ ส่วนความขัดเคืองไม่พอใจเมื่อถูกแย่งเกิดจากโทสะ ทั้งสองมีโมหะอยู่เบื้องหลังชี้นำ วิธีแยกแยะพฤติกรรมที่เหมาะสมหรือไม่เหมาะสม จึงต้องดูว่าธรรมชาติใดกำลังสิงอยู่Whether monk or layperson, selfish, grasping behavior arises from the unwholesome possessing the mind in the form of greed; irritation at having something taken away arises from aversion. Both have delusion guiding behind them. Judging whether behavior is appropriate means looking at which nature currently possesses the mind, not at someone's status.
Someone asked: they'd once heard a teaching that when monks eat, they must be restrained with every mouthful, since a lack of restraint could carry negative consequences. On the lay side — for a host or sponsor at the temple using communal resources without restraint or beyond what's necessary — would the consequence be the same as for a monk, or different?
Look at What Possesses the Mind, Not at Someone's Status
Pra Ajarn explained that we should look at where the cause actually lies. The way to see it is to look at what possesses the mind of the person in question, whether monk or layperson — it works the same way. A monk's lack of restraint comes from possessing him, urging him to want this dish or that, wanting muscle and a handsome build, taking large portions of what's delicious without regard for whether enough remains for others. That's exactly how selfish, grasping behavior arises.
Greed: What Makes a Person Selfish and Grasping
It's the same for laypeople. The moment the unwholesome possesses someone, selfish, grasping behavior follows — arising from greed, which drives someone to take generously without any concern for sharing with others.
Aversion: Irritation When Something Is Taken or Too Little Remains
Or the irritation and displeasure felt when something is taken away, when too little is left for us — that's aversion. Both greed and aversion always have delusion guiding behind them; this is the behavior that becomes clearly visible once the unwholesome possesses someone and expresses itself. Meeting an unsfying experience, the unwholesome overlays aversion, producing irritation; meeting something delightful, it overlays greed, producing excessive craving — inducing demerit at that very moment, along with a guiding voice pushing us toward displeasure, quarrelsome speech, or conflict, so inappropriate behavior emerges. This is exactly the process that unfolds, whether for a monk or a layperson — no different, because both arise equally from the unwholesome nature taking possession.