A lay follower asked: the teacher's mentor once taught that having faith in the Dhamma requires respect — and the questioner observed that today's young people, even those who are well-educated and gainfully employed, seem to show less respect toward their parents, making it hard to gently correct them. Why is this happening?

Upbringing Shapes Respect

The teacher explained that this doesn't rest solely with the child — it also depends on how the teacher or parent raised and taught them. By nature, children naturally respect adults; but when they repeatedly see adults behaving improperly, that respect gradually fades away. Developing this kind of virtue follows its own sequence of steps.

From an Open, Accepting Heart to Esteem

The first step is opening the heart to acceptance — some people have a gift for helping others open up, others don't. Opening the heart with a humble, gentle disposition is the natural quality of wholesomeness, and it softens and refines the mind. When we study and come to understand something until we genuinely feel it is good and admirable — accepting the value of precepts, for instance, and refraining from what's wrong — that goodness leaves a lasting impression on the heart, becoming esteem: regard for that person's virtue. When we live close to someone of good character — a parent, a sibling, a teacher — we come to feel that goodness deeply, and it becomes an increasingly radiant sphere of esteem.

From Esteem to Respect

As the sphere of esteem develops, becoming more radiant and refined, it becomes a sphere of respect — which differs from esteem in being far more automatic. The teacher gave an example: while sitting comfortably at ease, the moment a revered teacher walks in, our response changes instantly and automatically — both the outward behavior of showing respect, and the inward state of calm, composed, honest sincerity. This differs from simply esteeming one's parents, where even knowing their kindness, one might still argue back when corrected. With genuine respect, one wouldn't dare argue, because the sphere of respect governs behavior automatically — like software developed to a more advanced level.

From Respect to Devotion and Faith

As the sphere of respect is continually refined through virtue, it grows finer still and becomes devotion. The teacher compared the sphere of devotion to the moon, which has no light of its own but reflects the sun's light, bringing brightness and a sense of ease to whoever beholds it. Developed one step further, it becomes faith — which differs from devotion in that faith can generate its own light, like the sun, without depending on light from elsewhere.

The teacher offered another comparison: imagine walking through a cave lit by a guiding light, only for the light to go out — we'd be trapped in darkness with nothing to rely on. We need faith to serve as that guiding light. Regardless of what religion someone follows, the sphere of faith that forms is, in every case, the same kind of universal wholesome sphere. The teacher's mentor once said that a person devoid of faith tends to be argumentative — no matter what deity one believes in, simply having some form of religious conviction allows the sphere of faith to take root. That said, genuine faith must be grounded in reason and wisdom, unlike blind faith, which is belief without any reasonable basis.

Faith and the Five Spiritual Faculties

Faith connects directly to the five spiritual faculties: mindfulness, wisdom, faith, concentration, and effort. When mindfulness is paired with wisdom, faith can then arise in a reasoned, grounded way. Once faith is present, effort and concentration follow, leading toward self-mastery, which frees the mind from unwholesomeness and neutrality and moves it toward genuine growth — the extent of that growth depending on how much strength we've built up in these five faculties.