ความหลงใหลอย่างรุนแรงจนยอมทิ้งทุกอย่างเพื่อคนที่ตนรัก มักเกิดจากการเคยหลงรักคนคนเดียวกันมาในอดีตชาติ ผสมกับวิบากกรรมที่เคยทำให้คนอื่นอกหักทุกข์ทรมานมาก่อน จึงต้องมารับผลอย่างเดียวกันในชาตินี้ ทางออกคือให้เวลาทำใจ สร้างกุศลชำระมลทิน และอธิษฐานอย่างครอบคลุมOverwhelming infatuation that makes someone abandon everything for the person they love usually traces back to having loved that same person in a past life, combined with the karmic result of once having broken someone else's heart. The way through is to give the heart time to heal, build merit to purify the defilement, and make a well-rounded aspiration rather than a narrow one.
Someone asked the teacher about a student who had fallen so intensely in love with another person that he was willing to give up his job, his savings, and was in such despair that he even considered harming himself — even though the other person did not return his feelings, and there seemed to be no reasonable explanation for such an intense obsession. The teacher explained that this kind of experience happens to nearly everyone; it isn't a personal abnormality.
Why can love become this overwhelming
When two people were once "counterparts" in a past life — meaning they were once infatuated with each other — the accumulated cause stored in the heart makes the same infatuation arise again in this life. Once craving twists the emotions into intense wanting, there's no problem if it's restrained early on. But once someone has truly "fallen in love," being rejected or heartbroken brings severe suffering.
The teacher explained that what actually suffers and cries out is the "heart," which carries a layer of defilement — not our true self. When the heart is struck, it wails in distress, and we feel that suffering along with it. What possesses the heart in that moment carries a quality lower than the human heart's own nature; its purpose is to drag a person down, drawing in demerit so the heart grows ever more clouded. The darker it becomes, the greater the risk of self-harm — this depends on whether the person carries karma from having taken their own life in a past existence. Without that karma, the risk of reaching that extreme is lower.
How karma is involved
The teacher pointed out that this has nothing to do with intelligence or education — it is a matter from a past relationship. Someone who once broke another person's heart by abandoning them coldly, without giving them time to come to terms with the separation, will eventually have to experience the very same suffering themselves. The teacher's guidance: when ending a relationship, give the other person time to accept it first, and let the parting happen naturally on both sides — never simply discard someone with no warmth left at all. Doing so plants the same suffering to come back around one day, and when it does return, one must accept it as a chance to finally understand what the other person once felt.
The way through
The teacher noted that the peak of emotional intensity is the most critical turning point. Wholesome forces will try to protect a person from anything drastic happening during that peak, but healing still takes time. During this period, one should keep up morning and evening chanting, sit in meditation, and practice listening to the inner voice — these draw in merit that gradually purifies the defilement causing the suffering.
As for praying for the other person to return, the teacher cautioned against praying only for that single outcome. Instead, one should pray more broadly: if this is truly a karmic partner meant to bring a flourishing life together, may they return — but if not, let it be. The teacher noted that this kind of overwhelming infatuation only happens to those who carry this specific karma from the past; someone without it will never experience such intense obsession at all.