Someone asked the Master: in the life when the Bodhisatta was born as Prince Vessantara, why did he have to give his children away to someone else? Was that really the right thing to do? Hearing the story left them deeply moved with pity.

Attachment Is What Must Be Overcome

The Master explained that doing good, avoiding evil, and purifying the mind alone isn't enough for liberation — even before Buddhism arose, every family already wished for their children to be good people. The Buddha had to accumulate perfections for twenty incalculable aeons plus a hundred thousand great aeons before awakening to the truth that humans and all beings are governed by three natures, which cloud us with wrong view and bind us to attachment — to joy and sorrow, and to what we cherish and are bonded to. Without breaking free from this attachment, enlightenment isn't possible, no matter how much good one does.

The Five Great Gifts: A Condition Unique to Bodhisattas on the Path to Buddhahood

The Master explained that every Bodhisatta destined to become a Fully Enlightened Buddha must complete five great acts of giving: wealth, one's own limbs, one's life, one's children, and one's spouse — only then can they cross over into Buddhahood. This differs from those who attain Arahantship through other paths, who face no such requirement. A future Buddha must break completely free from attachment to what is most beloved. For most people, family matters more than one's own life — we'd die for our children. But being able to give away even one's family requires passing the highest test of all. Until one can do so, one must be born again and again, giving up one's own life repeatedly across lifetimes, until finally able to give up something greater than one's own life — one's family.

The Master also noted that the deeper reasoning behind the Bodhisatta's state of mind while making that gift may be a detail lost from the scriptures over time, and is something only those who attain the level of a Fully Enlightened Buddha can fully grasp — since it requires accumulating perfections deep enough to see the workings of all three natures in full. He admitted candidly that he himself doesn't yet fully understand that particular outlook either.

Giving Away One's Children and Spouse: The Final Threshold of the Perfection of Giving

A participant in the discussion added that the Bodhisatta had already given up his own life countless times across countless past lives; compared to that, giving up his children and wife was something he could give willingly. Moreover, he made no distinction that it specifically had to be his children or wife — whoever asked for anything, he gave everything. In that particular life, what he loved most happened to be his children and wife, making it the final threshold he had to cross before becoming a Buddha. The Master added that not every Buddha-to-be undergoes this kind of bodily austerity to the same degree — some, having accumulated even greater perfections, such as the one destined to become the future Buddha Metteyya, do not need to undergo such physical hardship at all.

The Lesson From This Question

The Master concluded that this was an excellent question, because it prompts us to re-examine our own attachment to the notion of self and other. In truth, according to the ultimate teachings, there is only mind, mental factors, matter, and Nirvana — no real, fixed self exists. Our continued attachment to values and beliefs shaped by the three natures is exactly what causes our daily suffering. This question about Prince Vessantara serves as a reminder to develop our right view one level further.