Resting the Mind in Balance: A Bad Experience Is Simply Defilement Being Cleared

Phra Ajarn Suraphong teaches us to keep the mind balanced and neutral, neither pleased nor displeased, neither glad nor sorrowful, whatever the experience may be. If the experience is unpleasant, we simply know that defilement is present — that is exactly how it should be, and it doesn't mean something is wrong. We are simply facing, and recognizing that we are facing, something that is defilement. If the experience is good, we know defilement has been cleared, and so the experience gradually improves. While the experience is still not good, we know that merit is currently clearing defilement. More defilement means we know there are more obstacles; if it's even greater, a state that must be endured and is hard to endure appears — but this is simply a matter to be cleared, nothing to feel aversion toward. Once understood, it can be interpreted correctly.

Our Role Is Only to Determine — the Rest Is Automatic

A wholesome foundation is a relaxed, open, light, and easeful mind, full of comfort. Whatever we do — working, meditating, cooking, washing dishes, sitting, or walking — should be done with a relaxed, open, easeful mind. Once the sphere of knowing is established, the sphere of not-knowing — ignorance — falls away. This established sphere of knowing, mindfulness, continuously draws the pure energy called merit into the center of its brightness. This pure energy purifies all the defiling stains that cause problems and obstacles in the many forms of hindrance, bringing hardship to our life or to our practice itself. As merit purifies the defilement, the defilement thins, the obstacles thin, and what was hard becomes easy, what was difficult becomes comfortable.

Our role is only to determine — that's enough. We must recognize this clearly: our role is only to determine, to know, and to keep that knowing continuous without lapsing. Everything else belongs to the internal automatic system. Mindfulness has the role of drawing in merit; merit, the pure energy, has the role of eliminating defilement; and defilement, too, has its own role — to create problems and obstacles, generating hardship. Each side has its own role. Keep to your own role continuously, and everything will run its proper course on its own.

Experience as Indicator: Not a Matter for Satisfaction or Displeasure

The goal of determining is to develop it until it becomes automatic. Whether we attain a sphere, the noble image, or radiant light — these are results of the automatic system; once it clears the defilement at each level, the result appears on its own. Experience is simply the result that appears from defilement and purity. If defilement is heavy, suffering and difficulty naturally arise as a matter of course — that is simply the result of defilement. We only need to determine; the sphere of knowing will bring in pure energy to purify it on its own. No aversion is needed.

Every experience that appears is like an indicator, a gauge, showing that defilement is present and needs clearing — not something to feel dissatisfied about, but something to interpret, telling us how much defilement remains and what we need to do. More defilement means more suffering — suffering being a state that must be endured and is hard to endure; we simply know that defilement is heavy. Less defilement means lighter suffering, less that must be endured. Even amid some confusion, there is nothing to feel aversion toward — it is simply telling us to keep determining, so the sphere of knowing can draw in pure energy to clear that defilement.

Cultivate the Cause, Observe the Result, and Endure — How Excellent That Is

We determine, staying continuously aware, and then observe the result — as the Great Teacher said: "cultivate the cause, observe the result, and endure — how excellent that is." Determining is cultivating the cause; we cultivate it continuously, staying aware without lapsing, and observe the result: suffering thinning, confusion thinning. If it hasn't thinned yet, there's no need for aversion or irritation.

At first we need some patience — giving it time is giving it the chance, without overstepping our proper role. Don't crave the result; the result arises on its own once defilement thins. So we need not worry about outcomes. Enduring is not without benefit either — we gain tapa (an ascetic quality) as a reward. Suffering requires endurance (khanti), but endurance comes paired with tapa: even as we endure what is hard to bear, it is not tormenting, because tapa prevents that torment from arising.

When Weariness Turns to Irritation: Recognize Who Is Directing From Behind

Every time we feel irritated or dissatisfied, recognize who is directing from behind the scenes — it is the unwholesome, leading us into dissatisfaction with this or that. The unwholesome wants things its own way; when it doesn't get its way, it becomes dissatisfied, angry, resentful — that is simply its nature. These things arising in us are not truly us; when the unwholesome overlays itself, this reaction appears, but it isn't us. In practice, we simply interpret what arises: heavy suffering shows heavy defilement. We need to understand what this means, and our role is to determine so the sphere of knowing, mindfulness, is established, staying with our meditation object continuously — the sphere of knowing will draw in pure energy to purify the defilement on its own.

Stopping and Stillness: The Tool for Dispelling the Vibrations of the Unwholesome

Just do what you can, without craving results. The unwholesome often suggests that nothing has come of all this practice — recognize that as the unwholesome intruding; let it complain, and simply stay indifferent, without paying attention. Whatever disturbance arises, stay still with it; whatever vibration or emotion comes in, stay still. When we determine stillness, a sphere of stillness is established, dispelling those vibrations, and the unwholesome emotions gradually fade on their own. Stillness is the tool we use whenever something intrudes; we learn to use these tools. When the unwholesome intrudes to disturb our practice, don't rush, don't push, don't pressure yourself — stay at ease and enjoy it, because pressure and urgency are themselves tools of the unwholesome. When pressure arises, we simply determine ease, and that pressured state diminishes.

The Unwholesome's Energy Is Limited: Like a Battery That Eventually Runs Out

When the unwholesome uses its tools to create problems and obstacles for us, we simply know — just know, understand things as they truly are, and address the situation accordingly, and everything returns to calm. The energy it uses to disturb us is limited; the more it's used, the more it depletes, like a phone battery that eventually runs out. Let it use as much as it wants — it will run out. Then address whatever situation arises, whether in the inner or outer world — understand the situation and respond accordingly. Interpreting what appears in our experience correctly is therefore essential: if we interpret it correctly, we can solve the problem; if not, it becomes a real problem.

Dirt in the House: The Analogy of Mindfulness and the Cleaning Staff

In summary, where there is defilement, there must be problems and obstacles — that is defilement's own role, to create problems resulting in hardship and suffering. When these appear, we simply know them — there is nothing here to feel glad or sad about, only something to recognize and manage. These things are like an indicator, a gauge pointing to the dirt that is defilement — just as in our home or office, if there were no dirt, the housekeeping staff would have no work to do.

Mindfulness, the sphere of knowing, is the one who watches over and inspects — our role is to check and assess the situation as it arises. Knowing, and staying continuously aware without lapsing, is our role. If we dwell within the wholesome system, we become skilled at inspecting and maintaining it. When dirt — defilement — appears, we know it, so that the sphere of knowing can draw in pure energy to purify it, just as reporting to the cleaning staff brings them in — the pure energy comes and purifies the defilement on its own.