Someone asked: today, could Pra Ajarn share a teaching on restraint? Pra Ajarn began with Khun Yai's teaching on contentment, moderation, and knowing how to use what one has.

Khun Yai's Teaching: Don't Be Overambitious, Don't Be Greedy

Khun Yai once taught: don't be overly ambitious, don't be greedy — hold to contentment and moderation instead. Greed turns people dishonest and deceitful; Khun Yai disliked dishonesty more than anything. Craving what isn't wholesome never brings happiness. Try hard to keep the mind clean and pure. If merit is truly ours, it will come to us on its own — no need to grasp for it. But if we sincerely wish to keep building goodness, that's fine too — just hold to contentment, moderation, and knowing how to use what we have.

Human Happiness Is Only Ever Borrowed

Living in this human world, we never actually know true, essential happiness. What passes for happiness here is only ever borrowed. Human happiness comes down to just two things: familiarity and satisfaction — satisfaction in form, taste, smell, sound, touch, and mental objects; satisfaction in people, animals, and possessions. Because human beings exist only within these five outer dimensions — sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch — satisfaction in them brings a moment's joy, but as soon as we want more, we keep reaching for more, never satisfied.

Pra Ajarn used the example of online shopping today — no longer needing to travel to a mall, just picking up a phone to order things all day long. When the package arrives, we're as delighted as a child opening a gift — happiness from having, buying, spending. Once we get something, we're happy, then we want more. When we don't get our way, we grow irritated and displeased — happy one moment, upset the next, endlessly cycling through people, things, and possessions. Life, lived this way, makes happiness hard to find.

True Happiness Comes From Being Satisfied With What We Have

But living with satisfaction in what we already have and are is different. Having a home brings happiness simply from living in it; being with family brings happiness from what we already have — this much wealth, this much status, this house, this car — satisfaction in exactly what we have and are is enough for happiness to arise. Don't let yourself become someone perpetually lacking, because no matter how much you have, you'll still feel short if you lack contentment — even wealthy, you'll still want more, and that's suffering. Try living with what you have: this is our room, and we're satisfied; this is our home, and we're satisfied; this is what we're eating today, and we're satisfied; this is our income, and we're satisfied. Happiness born of contentment arises this way. Even on a day the food isn't tasty, or income drops, still be satisfied — no need for sorrow.

Equanimity: Balance of the Mind

Hold equanimity as your refuge — neither delighted nor upset by anything, keeping the mind balanced and content with what we have and are. Life becomes deeply happy this way. There's no need to want to be wealthier than we are — we eat only so much, spend only so much anyway.

Greater Merit Than Giving: Cultivating Loving-Kindness

If we want abundant merit, the simplest way to gain more than through giving alone is to recognize and abide in the wholesome system — cultivating loving-kindness (mettā). The merit from cultivating loving-kindness far exceeds that from giving. The scriptures record the Buddha's own words: cultivating loving-kindness for even the time it takes to twist a finger ring carries greater merit than giving alms continuously for seven days and nights. Even lined up giving day and night for a full week, the merit still falls short of a single moment of genuine loving-kindness. So when we wish to give generously, give according to our means, with full faith — never force giving beyond what we actually have.

Letting Go According to Our Faith — Not Needing Abundance First

The key point isn't needing abundance before we can give generously. Merit doesn't arise from quantity — it arises from how bright our faith shines. That brightness is proof of how much stinginess we've managed to release from the heart. There's no need to wait until we have plenty — let go of what we have right now, releasing as much as possible, keeping as little as possible, so there's room in our hands to receive what's coming.

An Example: Letting Go of One's Very Last Possession

Pra Ajarn recounted the story of Khun Anant Asavabhokhin, who, once during a financial crisis, had only 10 million baht left. He wrote a check and stood in line to offer it to Luang Phor, saying: "This is my very last 10 million baht. I offer it." He reasoned that if he didn't give it, it would likely be lost anyway — so he offered this final possession as an offering to the religion, entrusting his life to the Triple Gem, testing its power. Even though giving it away left him feeling as though he had nothing left, someone who gives with such faith receives back what they could never have anticipated.

How Should Someone in Debt Allocate Their Giving?

Someone then asked: for someone still carrying debt, how should they allocate their giving? They mentioned having once given at the full extent of their means and felt deeply moved by it, and wished to continue giving in a way that brought that same joy.

Pra Ajarn answered: when in debt, repay the debt first — this preserves honesty and integrity. Even with little, the debt should be repaid. Whatever remains after repayment, let go of as much as your means allow — eating a little less, spending a little less. All of this depends on faith, not on how much money one has. Repaying debt is itself an act of honesty, a wholesome quality — give generously if able, give modestly if not, according to your means. Simply holding to honesty draws a stream of merit every time we turn our mind toward this wholesome quality.

Pra Ajarn also cautioned against borrowing money specifically to make merit without careful thought. Giving born of dishonest, insincere, or unreasonable thinking — such as thinking "if I have no money, I don't need to repay what I borrowed" — carries no merit at all, since the unwholesome side lies behind it. Wholesome dhamma is always grounded in what is reasonable. True giving requires wholesome intention behind it; only then can it draw in the pure energy called merit.